The Completely Serious Guide to Throwing Items on 888poker

888poker throwing cake

When it comes to finding the narrow edges that remain in poker, no stone can be left unturned. If you’re looking to take your game to the next level on 888poker, you need to develop an optimal object-throwing strategy.

Don’t underestimate the power of a well-timed snowball! The splat of a raw egg on your opponent’s avatar should not be taken lightly. Some would say it’s the final frontier of game-theory-optimal online poker.

Only on 888poker can you select from one of six inanimate objects to throw across the table. Your defenseless victim is forced to watch the item soar over the felt and land on their pixelated player, causing them to feel deep shame or anger or delight.

You need to develop an optimal object-throwing strategy.

There are six choices to aim at your tablemates: cake, snowball, trophy, egg, tomato, and chips. Choose wisely.

Cake

This vanilla-frosted, two-layer, strawberry cake might look deliciously innocent, but it can make a bold statement if used appropriately. What does a cake usually say? Congratulations. What does a cake say when it’s thrown at someone? Congratulations, asshole; I’m a sore loser.

Throw a cake when you lose a big hand and your opponents will get the clear message that you’re on tilt. Of course, don’t actually go on tilt. Just set up your table image to get called off super light for an orbit or so.

888poker throwing items
With great power comes great responsibility.

Snowball

Cartoons are largely responsible for the misrepresentation of the snowball as a fun and playful thing you throw at your friends in harmless jest. Canadians are well-aware that this is a lie. Snowballs are deadly ice missiles that make close-range paintball attacks feel like a pillow fight.

Bullies use snowballs. They are meant to inflict pain and exert dominance. If you want your table to know that you’re table captain and you’re in control of the game, start hurling snowballs.

Trophy

This gleaming gold trophy is a favourite selection for tossing around on 888poker. Trophies are for winners, obviously. But since poker players proudly “don’t care” about trophies and rings in poker (bracelets are an exception), the trophy is thrown ironically.

888poker throwing trophy
This poor player has been hit with a trophy because of the outcome of the previous hand. How embarrassing!

Throw the trophy at someone who made a terrible play or tried to be sneaky. It doesn’t matter if they won or lost, the sentiment should be one of “nice one, champ,” with lots of latent sarcasm. This also works when someone sucks out on you. Let them know you’re disgusted by the outcome of the hand and they will understand that you’re not to be tussled with.

Egg

Most of the items are best used at the conclusion of a hand, but the egg and tomato are optimised for hands in progress. The egg expresses frustration, disgust, and impatience particularly well. Is someone tanking preflop? Jamming 150 big blinds in the first level of a tournament? Give them egg-face.

For advanced users, the egg can be used to sell a bluff. Let’s say you’ve made a big turn bet but you’re drawing thinner than Sofia Lӧvgren in a hot dog eating contest. Your opponent is in the tank and you’re yelling “FOLD! FOLD!” at your monitor. Toss an egg their way to appear as if you’re calm and impatiently awaiting their decision. They will often fold to your bold display of confidence.

Tomato

Same as egg but for vegans.

888poker throwing chips
The chips are tossed across the table as if to say, "Here you go; enjoy the donation."

Chips

The throwing of chips is the most literal action among the six. If you’ve played any amount of live poker, you’ve inevitably seen a player lose a hand and toss his chips to his opponent in frustration. The digital throwing of chips is different in that it is more light-hearted than angry.

Throw the chips at your opponent when you lose a hand and want to acknowledge defeat. It can even be a sign of respect that you’ve been handily beaten, or it suits a lost flip or giving up in the blinds. It tells them that you’re a seasoned veteran of poker that understands the peaks and valleys of the game and you don’t get emotional about losing a pot; you’re ready for the next hand.

The Next Step

In the evolution of language, emojis are replacing written communication. Similarly, throwing items at 888poker is a step forward from the table talk that once annoyingly dominated online poker.

We eagerly await the day that 888poker introduces the throwing of items at their live tournaments. In the vein of making poker more fun, what could be more fun than having a plush tomato to throw at Dominik Nitsche as he thinks about calling a big river bet?

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